hopelessness

Ok hi guys school's starting tomorrow
What to look forward? Honestly I have no idea.
I'm always jealous of those people who have real friends for them, supporting them, BUT not backstabbing them, judging them at the back, talking at the back, AND THEN act like nothing's happening.
JUST SUCKS.
Why do I have to live this kind of life throughout my so-many-years-of-studying. Whether it's in primary school, secondary school and even HERE, poly. Worst case ever.
Don't people have empathy in them?
Sometimes I don't wanna say doesn't mean I don't want you to ask. If you ask, I may tell. But you guys will never, ever, ask. Concern? Nah, fake concern got la.

About that, I have mix feelings. Any feelings that you can named, I've already experienced them.
Angry;
Sad;
Exhausted;
Jealous;
Regretted;
Tired;
many more.
Just sucks.
Why did you even appear here.
Why.

Felt like I've lost someone, someone so close.
Probably my best friend, my soulmate.
We used to have the world, everyone wasn't sure what are we but we were having fun in our own worlds.
Holidays never make me stop thinking, it has, somehow, worsen the problem.
The last time I talked to you, is on 8 March.
I know I shouldn't be so attached to someone whom only gave me the feelings that I wanted the most.
Should be more independent. You said "it's not worth liking me"
Yea maybe you're right.
I don't know what will happen next.
What is my next move?
I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO LA.


She gave it all, to someone who said "I'll always be here for you"
That's it. From then on, she secretly like him.
Trying so hard not to leak out this secret and pretending to use another nickname to cover up these things that she've done for him.
No sense of anything, she gave it all.
As you've predicted, yes, after some months, he realised.
And yes, she confessed.

Note: she didn't have anyone to talk about. the only one that she have is someone that she's jealous of.
By telling her friend about him, the friend wasn't helping.
YOU'RE NOT HELPING.



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