Rules is you make yourself de not we make for you de

Really, rules and regulations is you make for yourself de, not people make for you de

You know why?

Because you choose to do this. YOU.

So don't blame us when you cannot do this or cannot do that.

Like for instance my year1, 

I sucked at solving friendship problems and people JUDGED me.

Yep, the truth hurts because they judge you, they judge how you solve problems 

And when I can't deal with jealousy, they judge me.

When I can't love someone I love, they judge me, they will be thinking "omg this girl like this guy, omg are you serious, the girl so fat and confirm the guy won't like this girl one la"

DOUBLE CONFIRM!

And so, they judged me, and I became who I am today.

You know, there wouldn't be anyone who trust me right now.

Like, there's nobody who will come and look for me for advices BECAUSE I SUCKED at dealing with MY OWN stress or problems.

So they will be thinking "Aiya this girl confirm cannot help me because I've seen how she dealt with her problems and it's nothing but RUN AWAY from it"

Sorry la but I'm born in this kind of environment, because in my family, 

there's nothing like "Oh come let's gather together and face the problem together"

NOPE WE'RE NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL

Or like some close mum-daughter-friendship-alike relationship who always have some htht in the midnight or they will cry together after every talk

NOPE, that will never happen to us.

We keep our problems to ourselves and unless it is really affecting one of us or anything that is urgent, then we will just merely talk about it. Not like those deep talks but just a "Oh really ah, ohhh then how?" kinda reply.

That's maybe why I don't like to share my problems with friends or anything because I'm brought up in this kind of environment.

It's not because of i don't trust that person or anything...it's just I am not used to it.

You see, in this 18 years of my life you want me suddenly pour out everything to someone that I've met for like not even 3 years or more, do you think i can? 

NO i can definitely tell you that I will not do that because how can someone adapt to a habit suddenly?

Unless kena forced but NOPE I'm not gonna do that.

That's maybe why I can't find any friends in my contact list to go out with me and no feeling awkward with the other party and idky i became like this

That's maybe why I'm so hard to trust even friends that I'm previously close with and always have deep talks with, left me and find another listener better than me, motivator better than me...

That's maybe why people always don't listen to my suggestion and always judge me behind my back and...

I don't wanna write about this anymore..