Wave - first and last.

Ive been waiting for this day for so long.
I know it will hit me down again, or, every single time I went through this shit.
I know someone is always there for me.
I know there are people who loves me.
I know this route of life isnt easy, neither I heard people said that its worth it.
No shit is worth your time.

For the nth times, how many times do I need to say this? You are not his anything, neither am I. So none of us has the right/power to control him.
His life is none of your business, neither mine. Why are we orbiting our worlds just because this person is alive?
Tell me which part of me you don't like. Tell me straight in my face before I punch yours.
I have never do bad to anyone unless the person done bad to me. But even though anyone is bad, they are never gonna be as bad as you.
How to describe u? Bitch.
Oh wait there are two of them.
You'll never know. You know why? Coz YOU NEVER ONCE TRY PUTTING YOURSELF IN MY SHOE. Just because you're jealous doesn't mean that relationship is belong to you.
Jealous go find yourself one la!
Sorry hor lastest news, the guy that you LOVE so much confessed and had a date with someone else already! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH ONE DAY I WILL SHAKE LEG AND LAUGH AT YOU WHILE YOU'RE CRYING TO SEE HIM LEAVING.

No mood for anymore of this.

Met hamizah for dinner after dpp ends at 5:45. Went for dinz at cwp bagus then we had Gelare for dessert wah cost 30 bucks leh so ex! But the texture was so good! :)
Thank you hamizah for the day :*

Did some htht with my forever friend (this friend is gonna come with me forever already coz she can tolerate my nonsense!)

Ok feeling better now.

Wed tell yl the whole thing. I scared.

Cannot wait for tmr! Hope that tmr will be a great day :-)

Thursday most funny lecturer ever

Wait. Everytime I blog on that day I must think of what lesson I had in the morning till the end of the day. Or on weekends maybe think of what time I wake up.
Oh so (checks time table)
Had maths lecture in da mornz! Wah luckily she didnt go the speed she went on Tuesday sia if not all die.
Then we had THE MOST FUNNY LECTURER's lesson! Hahaha u know what, at first we really thought he is those very strict one coz he very strict on attendance. But then as time goes by in that one hour plus, his funny part came out! Most funny part, our maths teacher came and crashed his lessons right in the middle of his teaching....then he was like "who's that" someone replied "ms lee, maths lecturer" then he quickly said "from where?" HAHAHAHA faiezin fabian they all turned back look at me hahaha omg so funny FROM WHERE. WHERE CAN A TEACHER COME FROM? HAHA

End of school. Went bookshop get notebook (again I know) coz really, the quality of thr paper really affect my mood of studying! HAHA

Went home, bought milk tea, bathed, and hide in room (on aircon) and do work! Work is coming!!!
Ok till then!
Excited for Saturday! ;)

Club crawl day1

Met haesung to go school together! So glad we still keep in contact! This korean boy keep saying that he's tired, bored and whatever reasons just because he don't want to go poly. Hahaha!

Realised that there IS change between us, Im alright with that actually coz in the end nobody's willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING for one another. I think people will save themselves first before saving others, that's the harsh truth.

Lecture on REE today, guessed who is the lecturer!! It was PEM :) ok its was actually kinda weird to have her as our lecturer and PEM but nonetheless give it a try :)

Then we had GSM! A bunch of shy guys don't want to take picture before gsm starts, well nevermind then! Hahaha we still had fun!

Went for club crawl with firdaus (actually didn't wanted to go) coz' gsm ended earlier.
SO CROWDED. Hehehe get to grab a cotton candy and some packets of popcorn to share. Fifi was too kind, just to help us take! (I really thought he's gonna have it himself- but he don't look like the kind who will snack!)

Oh forgot to mention, saw some familiar faces (again) today! Cheryl and tianqi from church,  Shangyuan, Irfan and Irritating Zhikang hahaha!

Went to find tz kor at club crawl too! Haha #typicalsingaporean he wanted me to "like" a Facebook page just to get a free mask!

Proud of you even though didn't get to see you perform.

P/s: oh about this I think someone else is still waiting for you *hint: converse shoe*

Neck pain leg pain, I am old.

-

Lovely flower top / you scared me in da mornz

Wasnt aware of my phone since class starts at 12 so im happily doing my things (no rush no rush) so when I was in my room taking things out to the dining table, checked my phone and 2 messages, 14 whatsapp messages and 2 miss calls from gff. HAHA I held my phone and said to myself "wah what happened", literally HAHA silly guy.

Belinda's birthday today that's why so rush. Reached school around 11ish and went down to ltq6 to wait. Went for lunch first coz she wasnt here yet. Felt so left out coz all is Tritons, if not, excos. Damn where do I hide...

Alright gave her a sticky hug HAHA omg the weather! Lecturer looks like winnie the pooh today oh well hahaha. Mini presentation on the first day haha luckily we survived. ;)

Saw zul with hamizah at the canteen today.
Ended at 2, wyl and I went 313 hehehe. F21/H&M/ Ewf/ that shop (forgot the name) and homez HEHE.

Took one big round, to Marina bay then back home # typicalsingaporean you know what I mean. You always will.

This whole day I only had Ewf and tako! I threw away the packed food (so sorry!) that mum bought. At first I thought I could eat at late night but im, even, still full right now. How to eat??
Hahaha three buys- 2jeans and a red top (love love). DAD'S THE BEST!

Haha here it comes again. Weird but familiar actions/feelings that I couldn't and wouldn't say. How do I react, again?
Well lets see.

Till then x. (2nd day of school)

I wish

I wish everyday was like today.
School starts, couldnt agree more to myself that I completely needed sleep coz I can't seems to fall asleep these days. :(
Ending of yesterday really brings me back if not I'll be sucha quiet girl today and everybody will be like "oh so weird"
Im glad im not like that this morning.
Maths was tough.
Didnt know what the teacher is trying to teach until half of the lecture has past.
Okay exaggerated a bit but she was like rushing thru and wasnt even aware of how the weaker students are doing, whether or not they are catching up or if they are having doubts but can't even stop the teacher down.
Yes I gave an example to someone that if the previous maths teacher we had was at speed number 1, this is 5! No joke.
Just because the lecture in the time table is placed on thursday and tutorials are on tuesday, doesn't mean that you should be already rushing things out without even giving us a guideline for this module that we're taking.
If I am going to be a maths teacher in the future I will share my experience of having all the weirdest and scariest maths teachers Ive had. And maths is not a memory subject, it needs patience and practice.
Before maths was okay( well obviously okay) coz we ended up talking and chit chatting away because all the teachers didnt turned up for classes and what's worst...they didn't tell us beforehand. Well this means that I had insufficient sleep which result in sleepiness and what-the-heck-is-she-teaching during maths class. I tried to listen and understand, yes i could,  but the only thing that I dont understand is why she needs to rush.
Pem meeting was held at the afternoon. Pem looks super ladylike today and friends were saying she looks like angel^^
This sem's timetable is alright coz only one 8am lesson-Ohya forgot to mention, friday is FULL. YES FULL.
Fridays are omg longest day everrr although I haven't had my Friday this week.
Coz its 8-12 lessons 12-1 break 1-6 lessons.
The most you will have on friday is the in-between toilet breaks during class :/ ah.
Well saw some familiar faces from slss today! Kinda a handful of them I know are in nyp! ohhey my juniors! Hahaha
I wished everyday was like this

hopelessness

Ok hi guys school's starting tomorrow
What to look forward? Honestly I have no idea.
I'm always jealous of those people who have real friends for them, supporting them, BUT not backstabbing them, judging them at the back, talking at the back, AND THEN act like nothing's happening.
JUST SUCKS.
Why do I have to live this kind of life throughout my so-many-years-of-studying. Whether it's in primary school, secondary school and even HERE, poly. Worst case ever.
Don't people have empathy in them?
Sometimes I don't wanna say doesn't mean I don't want you to ask. If you ask, I may tell. But you guys will never, ever, ask. Concern? Nah, fake concern got la.

About that, I have mix feelings. Any feelings that you can named, I've already experienced them.
Angry;
Sad;
Exhausted;
Jealous;
Regretted;
Tired;
many more.
Just sucks.
Why did you even appear here.
Why.

Felt like I've lost someone, someone so close.
Probably my best friend, my soulmate.
We used to have the world, everyone wasn't sure what are we but we were having fun in our own worlds.
Holidays never make me stop thinking, it has, somehow, worsen the problem.
The last time I talked to you, is on 8 March.
I know I shouldn't be so attached to someone whom only gave me the feelings that I wanted the most.
Should be more independent. You said "it's not worth liking me"
Yea maybe you're right.
I don't know what will happen next.
What is my next move?
I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO LA.


She gave it all, to someone who said "I'll always be here for you"
That's it. From then on, she secretly like him.
Trying so hard not to leak out this secret and pretending to use another nickname to cover up these things that she've done for him.
No sense of anything, she gave it all.
As you've predicted, yes, after some months, he realised.
And yes, she confessed.

Note: she didn't have anyone to talk about. the only one that she have is someone that she's jealous of.
By telling her friend about him, the friend wasn't helping.
YOU'RE NOT HELPING.



--

It's coming, again. (APRIL12)

What's coming up?
Tons of work. Projects. Reports. Presentations. Homeworks.
Mann...a huge wave is coming.
Not to mention about the complicated stuffs that will (may be) happening soon.
I guess changing might helps.
Okay stresssssss
I'll write more.
12 April friday;
Jialing came and did jellies with me yay! Gave her half of it :)
Mixed fruits and lychee for the fillings in the jellies!!!

till then x