I can totally relate if you're feeling jealous or just disliking the sight of someone sitting so close to him.
I CAN TOTALLY RELATE.

Updates week 3

Really, past few days were too good to be true. Ever since that talk.
But I haven't react. Haven't confront. Haven't face it.
Im like that, I don't like to face problems. I tend to escape.
All is good,  we had fun, we laughed, we played. ..I love life like this.
But if for deep down inside problems matter, I don't think so.
I really don't wanna suspect anything but you guys are making me suspect things because why will there be a WA group chat consisting of you guys but not me???? You guys are hiding things from me???? Why???
I saw "SOS" was it for me?
Oh if it's for me, no thanks. I really don't need your help, really.  Why are you guys so kind??? No really, I don't need it when I don't need it. I will go to you when I need them, really don't need to bother.

Gff quit dpp, left me alone.  Don't know should I continue when my gpa is like this. Some yes some no, some don't matter.
Idk if it's for me, I won't want to because it will be total wasted if I let go of what I held on for 1 year. I don't wanna give up until you list me valid reasons of why should I.
But a part of me say yes. Yes probably more of because of gff's leaving.  Part of it is because I got bored and didn't have time and whatever shit.
At the last lecture that he attended, he said "goodbye haopengyou" something along the line- to tell me that he's gonna leave me and quit dpp and I'll be alone without him :')
Then just yesterday I confronted him about the dpp whether should I drop or not, then he said "I want you to do what I can't" (also something along that line) which gave me strength to continue and prove to him! Haha

Wenjun brought his camera to school for his gsm and after his gsm we played with it and the pictures turned out good!

I hate how "anyhow" you are when you're taking my pictures. My friends who are rushing, take one picture before they left should take a proper one, don't miss that chance. In the end leh, either you moved the camera or you take picture at a certain angle (which I hated it)
Ugh.

Gsm pranked ppl using shiq's phone and got trolled back. Siying was sitting like near to me but I didn't see her. Used shiq's phone to text her in the end she knew it was me when shiq and I was searching for her in the LT.
TROLLED.

Fwe was damnnnnnn boring. Most boring lecture/module ever. Like storytelling, or like, music to the ears. He didn't even stop us from doing what we're doing and he keep continue like nobody's business. I am very sure that only like 1/5 of the class was actually listening to him.

Ac teacher seems like he has a wig on his head. Not sure thou, not assumed by me but I don't think so la, maybe just too much wax or smth.

What's pcc? Hahaha #jokeoftheday
New scandal: wx and joey. LOL wx is so innocent!

I am very thankful to have you

Dedicate this post to my forever friend

Dearest you, I wanna thank you for always listening to my rants even though it doesn't related to you.

Dearest you, I wanna thank you because you don't judge me (at least I never know) and always have time for me to go out with me even though sometimes we meet like 2-3 days in a week (hahaha) I hope you're not sien to see me so many times XD

Dearest you, whenever I have problems with my friends or family, I always want to cry and hurt myself and have the thought of commit suicide.....but I didn't because I didn't forget your existence. So I will find you, to talk to you, even if it's just purely joke or just about studies...it doesn't need to be about my rants, even talking about the weather with you makes me feel better.

Dearest you, you are the only friend that I hold on forever (if I live forever) and will not let go.

I hope everything's well for you.
Love you.

What's wrong

I have totally no idea what's wrong with the people here.
Its like I've been to a new place with people I know but the people I know changed to people that I don't really know.
The same thing happened to me was like maybe a year ago? When I started liking someone and then THEY start to judge me for idk what freaking reason and then one year later here comes the same story wth

Seriously what wrong have I done to deserve all this things? Luckily its not the whole class if not I might die....
I would, if I could. But I don't wanna let them know that they've won. I just wanna get over it and then graduate smoothly from poly and that's all.

What's freaking wrong with these people - and its only 6 of them, 6 vs 1 are u serious?

Disclaimer: I treated them all as family and although we're not that close I still care about them and let them know that im always here for them if they need someone to talk to or anything.

But I guess some of them just don't deserve my care and concern.
Because I bet for everything that ive done, someone will find the bad point in it.
Because for everything that I say, people will judge every single letter of it.

You know why I'm like that?
Because I need you guys. Besides families, friends are very important to me.
I always assume that you guys are talking bad about me whenever you guys are secretly talking about something and I was not involved.
I will hate you for not telling me what's happening. But I will be sad first, sad that I can't even trust someone that is close to me, at least,  in my own opinion.

Why is it so hard to trust someone and keep the trust and don't betray?
Why?

You know, I thought you were the best among the rest and I thought you were different.
I thought you will defend me, stay by my side, not to believe others, spend time with me, miss me when im gone, etc etc...
But I think im wrong. All the trips that we've made, all the good deeds that I did - like, to introduce you a job and let you meet more friends and earn some pocket money, wait for.you when you were having training......etc etc way too much to list.
And...I really thought you were different.
I really thought I finally found someone that I can rely on, go out with, laugh and chit chat with etc.
真的是看错你了

I never cry, I don't wanna cry anymore and I don't have the energy to cry anymore...
I did, yesterday when you asked me if im okay. Yeah, I was. I was okay with my acting skills until you asked me what happened to me.
I said I thought you guys were angry with me and that's why nobody wanna talk to me, so I don't dare to talk to anyone.
Can you see already how much I need you guys and yet you all are treating me like im sucha leftover, tool etc.

Im tired already, can you guys just give me a break? You know your life sucks when you have to go thru this sort of unwanted drama in school when it's just week 2.

You guys had enough torturing my mind?
Im counting down to my holidays soon...
Please let the time more quickly and let me graduate faster so that I don't need to see them anymore.

I once thought that my clique was better than home because home is where my bed is, my parents are and my workplace besides school.
But now, I think I have enough valid reasons to proof that above sentence is wrong.

Home, is where my parents are. They sacrifice so much for me while sometimes I took them for granted. My brother, although sometimes he brought lots of trouble, he is my only sibling.
My room, though is filled with free stuffs,  it's filled with love because the free things are hand-carried by my dad from the place he saw it to my room. Sometimes I took everything for granted, I forgot mum's favourite food, I forgot that dad's aching back and I forgot bro's favourite chips. Family represents Father And Mother I Love You.
And they always there for you. When you're sick, they buy herbal tea and medicine for you, or even richer, they gave you money for you to go to the doctor which will never be <50bucks.

They say they don't care about you, they still will. Because you are their child. They give birth to you and see you grow. While you're growing,  they are, too. So don't blame them for walking slow when you're rushing. 

As I'm writing the part about family, I cried. I cried because I realised I haven't been doing my part right, to be a filial daughter. I will, promise.
:)

Don't grief on what you don't have, instead, be thankful of what you have and don't let it go.

i dont really know what to feel annymore

It's only week 1 of school and i'm already so tired
And its only a 3-day week (Tuesday was a public holiday and Thursday we are chosen to help out for tte Hybrid Car so there isn't school)
And projects hasn't even started
And it's only week 1
And I only had my longest sleep on Sunday rather than both weekends

Wednesday 16th Oct
School starts at 8 and ends at 6..
During dpp, it was a silent torture because for 3 hours there wasn't any breaks and the teacher keep going and going, dreading to listen in class..

Thursday 17th Oct
Event started at around 10plus when the students reached while we're having our break..
Mediacorp filming in North Canteen with Felicia Chin and another female actress
What we do during 10plus to 12plus was just walk around the tables and check if the students need help.
We kept sitting down on both sides of the chairs (with supposedly meant for the students' teachers)
Take pictures, check for good-looking guys and girls, slack LOL
Lunch
Proceed to stadium for the competition and it was fun! (Somehow I feel like I'm going back to sec school days de sports carnival which also held in stadium :) )
My role was to write down the timing on the whiteboard
Went back to the room and cleared stuffs and we're done.

Bucks @ Northpoint
Swim @ Yishun
Dinner at home.

Friday 18th Oct
Maths lecture and maths tutorial

Saturday 19th Oct
Went to see RM at Jurong Point!! The crowd is crazy!
Went with them and wenjun!

 GOT TO SEE GARY OMG SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lunch @ ljs (too tired alr)

Home, sleep, 833.

Monday/Tuesday

Monday 14th Oct
Woke up at 6:45am for school! Slept at around 1 plus the previous day was talking to zt, gavin, jl and wenjun who kinda made my night when I was down!
Super early i tell you! Then same lor, every morning confirm squeeze with the morning crowd and whatnot..
It was raining on Monday morning (ohyes!) and at every station there are people queuing and forming two straight lines at the two sides of the train door. OMG :/

So rain + crowd + left home late = late for dpp. HAHA got anymore hardworking or not early monday morning is dpp liao! Lucky not super late, when we reached the teacher was still talking about some admin stuffs!

Ahhh should I just drop? No big deal leh, coz the lecturer said that if your gpa can make it to NTU/NUS then dpp will help. But my gpa haiz..

Lunched @ 11plus!

Had RS lecture and PIC lab briefing after that headed home! Was tired + hungry....but hungry won coz I ended up bought the kfc coloney's fillet burger just to fill the emptiness in ma stomach + a mocha ice cream that I found in the fridge HEHE AIYA you know from 11plus to 4/5plus....i cannot tahan :<

Dinner at Sembawang, turtle soup there! Actually wanna eat baimifen for dinner but 8plus already still queuing so long...FORGET IT!

Tuesday 15th Oct 
Woke up at 10:30am for brunch at the delicious duck rice stall!
Walllllllllllllaooooooooooooooooo confirm can sleep longer then dad came in to my room and woke me up saying "eh 11 already leh!" then i looked at him, pointed at the clock, IT'S ONLY 10:30 LIAR

zzzzzzzz then mum and I went chongpang,
she did massage and i went shopping (again), had lontong and we headed to ssc!!!

MUAHAHA massive shopping there although there's not much to shop there!
We first headed to Daiso then we go rounds and rounds and rounds in Daiso and spent 58 bucks haha which means 29 items?? HAHA my sixth sense told me that the total cost was 56 but it was 58, WELL CLOSE ENOUGH!

Then to Giant! Go rounds and rounds again, grabbing all the chips HAHAHA yep I was pushing the trolley like nobody's business :P

The Body Shop was the next stop! hahaha actually wanted to buy the Tea Tree Oil only but in the end with  all the offers and members discounts and everything we ended up getting 2 tea tree oils + Africa shea butter? + Fragrance thingy + a free goodie bag (shower gel, day cream and body butter) HAHAHA then mum say "next time I won't listen to you when you tell me that you wanna buy something!) coz everything I drag her to a place to buy things, we will end up with more of what we wanted to buy :P

Okay that's all for today! Hehehehe bought A LOT OF STUFFSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS which none of them is I pay MUAHAHHA

tears

因為失去而失眠 
多想堅持到終點

從不曾斷了思念 
不顧在愛的危險

盡力在心裡默念
祈求能再愛一遍

知道會傷痕累累我也不後悔

希望上天賜機會 
而我會不顧一切

用盡每天和每夜
再次陪著你流淚

已經瞭解了心碎 
就讓我停止淚水

再愛一遍是最後語言

I shall tell you.

I shall tell you since I've nobody to talk to.
I shall tell you that I've more or less got over something that once meant so much to me.
I shall tell you that I've probably officially step out of the ugly truth
and accept the fact that he's not the right guy for me.
I shall tell you that I still will befriend with him just that there's nothing much left between me and him.

I don't even wish anything happen between us anymore.
I don't even have the energy to fight for what I wanted so much last time
I don't want history to repeat itself because I don't like to repeat a mistake twice.

I never wanted things to end up like this
but I guess I didn't have a choice
because everybody have a freedom to love who they want to
and find someone that is worth their time.

To whoever that still is interested or willing to listen to me, 
I want you, to say "Congratulations" to me, for enduring the hardship (that nobody knew this will happen) for almost a year and a half.
It is a tough decision, to fight with what you have and what you want.
But eventually what you have doesn't give you what you want.
You don't gain from there.

You should know, nobody's on my back.
You should know, I suck at telling how I feel.
You should know, my "friends" aren't my real friends.
You should know, my parents aren't the best problem solver.
You should know, my "peers" don't even wanna care.
You should know, people aren't real.

YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
How hard it was, to come to this stage.
Where nothing else matters anymore.
Where nobody else matter anymore.
Where I don't matter anymore.


I don't hate you.
I don't like you either.

pizza frenzy

Had Domino's Pizza on Friday from Pem and on two days later, we ordered Canadian Pizza for late lunch early dinner. HAHAHA we gaotim everything in 15 minutes! I told mum "Shouldn't let the delivery man go, just ask him wait for a while till we're done then ask him to shunbian help us throw!" HAHAHA

ok anyway, school's starting tomorrow! Like 8am IN YOUR FACE!!
hahaha yep yep good that Tuesday is a public holiday but bad because all the lessons on Tuesday are shifted to other days, SO MAFAN :/

Friday went back to school

Friday 11th Oct
Woke up at 9:50 (omg so early) and head to school for PEM meeting and some briefing for upcoming competition thingy? Yep yep
We, the girls, reached early (around 11:50 like that) and went to the lecture theatre to sit.
They renovated the LT and the seats became red and light yellow, and the seats are so smooth hahaha rubs butt on seat!
Then there's two/three teachers standing outside wondering who are we hahaha

"G is for Genius" Ya we know right hahaha
Ms Diong very cute and funny, with many facial
expressions.

After the briefing proceed to PEM meeting which lasted like 10 mins? Yep around there, then we start to eat pizza!
WAKAKA pem bought pizza for us ♥♥♥ from Domino's Pizza
I think there's pepperoni, Hawaiian, cheesy one, some mushroom haha aiya idk la

We then went to TFA to check out the selling of lecture notes, in the end decided to buy on Monday.

Take bus to Joey's house!! Wakaka so funny de people HAHAHA
Her house so colourful I tell u! Like from living room's blue to kitchen's cupboard red, to her own room's green. I feel like im in a house that uses lego to stack together just that...the paint wasn't done well (but at least acceptable)

Cute la the mom and dad (thou not there but always hear stories from her)
I think she has a great family, whereby she had a cool mum which she can treat her like her best friend, a dad whom does the laundry, housework etc.
So much for jealousy..

Around 5:30 we left her house and went for dinner at the stretch of shophouse(?) and dine in an Indian restaurant.

Homed, shows waiting for me to watch kakaka
Ok bye~

Xoxo you are loved.

Song for the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4TzKUkRgPg

last week of holidays

Wednesday 9th Oct
Cleared housework and left home around 3 plus to head to salon
Yay finally rescue my hair if not confirm they'll be screaming "omg plz we're dying alr"
Yeap, did the new treatment, touched up my black roots and also chopped off my hair
Had meehoonkueh dry from the last stall in the food court downstairs salon
THAT STALL'S MEEHOONKUEH DRY IS DA BEST

Thursday 10th Oct
Mum and bro are sick haiz
Same thing, cleared housework and left home for SHOPPING!
Went to Jem and head to h&m first, ohman, they dissappoint me :/
The sales portion have so little clothes but I still managed to get one red long sleeve quite thick (maybe for raining days)
Went to Robinson, wanted to find the food hall,
smacks head, FOOD HALL IS IN M&S
Nevertheless I still went to the food hall, grab a lemon kinda bread which tastes like lemon pudding on the bread yeah smth like that
Then to cotton on, i thgt everywhere got sale coz i saw the one in Northpoint has,
but no...the one at jem didn't

walked around, 4ish already, left jem and head to Bugis for a bag

Reached Bugis street, I have the tendency to think that I'm lost and whenever I found my way out I will praise myself *pats on shoulder* HAHAHA
Yep in the end got a blue one, at 32 bucks. Is it expensive? Ahh the lady gave me 32 when it supposed to be 35 but idk if it's only for me la hahha

Hereby i conclude that I can only go Bugis street for bags and/or accessories. I thought shoes will be easy to find for me at there, but i realised that 1) my feet is too big, or 2) expensive

hais why the big body and big feet hahahaha

Yep yep got the bag then proceed to Somerset to do some serious shopping because till then I haven't got anything only a long sleeve keep-warm cardigan and a bag

Chiong to New Look and yay i was so happy that I saw many shirts that I like!
In the end I bought two pieces from there, kinda expensive thou.

It was raining..LUCKILY I GOT BRING UMBRELLA
Walked over to h&m, hahaha first time see h&m so empty because of the rain and I think they're renovating so very empty
Took two pieces from there and went to try, not really love love die die must buy so I never buy anything from there..

Went back to 313 for some dinner at b1/b2 i dunno
Had my dinner at umisushi likka loner hahaha
at first i was finding fish&co..then I saw subway, i wanted to go in but there's no seat for me.
walked back so umisushi then just order lor.
Eat halfway realised fish&co behind me only haiz

After that i went to f21 and cotton on. F21 is good but too much repeated style is a no-no right
so i didn't buy them~

Bought a white sleeveless top from cotton on,
oh side track a bit, cotton on 313 renovate haoliao

ya and that's all.
Then from somerset go to marina bay bounce back home
In the end the train tell me "this train terminates at Yishun"
okay.....

just in!

Tuesday 8th Oct
Had lunch at kfc with bro, wanted to try the 2 bucks burger but didn't hehe
Bought yoghurt, banana, grapes and lemon.
yoghurt + banana + grapes > breakfast
lemon > for lemonwater

Time to start something new!
Tuesday (first day): Yoghurt + Grape + Sunflower Seeds

Went for swim too! 30 laps, went too late (around 4:30, ended before 6)

School's starting
Timetable sucks hahaha
8-4, 8-5, 8-6, 10-4, 10-5.
Wednesday suck thumb, Friday I hope I will have awesome TGIF because only have maths lecture, maths tutorial and a lab.
Dpp starts at week1, OMGGGGG 8-11 on Monday and 3-6 on Wed
GOOD LUCK TO ME.

Three crazy kids went out hahaha

Monday 7th Oct
Supposed to meet ralph and shiq at 1230 at yck mrt hahaha but I was late :-p

aiya good things are worth the wait rightttt
Yep, so when I reached we walked to Sakura Yck (weather was hot and I was wearing long sleeve)
After settling down and paying we started to get our food! (Ralph cannot wait hahaha)
Yep eating time! Never take pictures coz very awkward :/

We stopped eating around 2:30 coz the buffet we paid for is for until 2:30 yepyep
Knowing that shiq's free (training cancelled), we went for movie at amk - supposedly wanted to watch Insidious 2 (and I agreed) luckily we didn't coz the timing wasn't suitable (it will be very rush)
Ended up we watched The Colony (heng ah!)
We three got three small packets of popcorns and Ralph was so happy like a happy 10 year old kid with his popcorn!
Story was about humans killing human-like zombies which are maneater
Got scared a few times and I'll probably rate it about 3.3/5? Something like that

After the movie, we didn't know where to go and we ended up deciding to go the macs at amk park which is walking distance from amk hub

Aish we were searching for Faiezin at the macs there but he wasn't working there today.
We chilled and slacked there....until Ralph downloaded a game on his phone called "heads up" which is somebody put the phone which has phrase or nouns on it and the other people is going to describe the word to whomever is holding the phone BUT we cannot use the words appeared on the phone!
Yep it was fun, I think the music category is my forte hahaha

Dinner at amk food Centre? But I didn't eat any. Only drank sugar cane juice and that's all. Can't eat anymore because I was so full from the buffet at Sakura, popcorn during the movies and water all along.
Hahaha secretly hope that there's still the liushabao at home for me to eat while watching rm166!

Now im omy home in 965, so crowded!
Okay that's all, maybe tmr go swim or something :-)

updates (one more week to school)

So the Friday and Saturday on the 2nd last week of my holidays, ceejay, awyongyt and I went to Celes's house to stayover to decorate the corkboard that we're gonna give Ade and also to bake cake for her!!

Friday 4th Oct
Meet ceejay at marsiling to buy the things that we need for baking at phoonhuat
OH MAN I LOVE THE SHOP IT'S LIKE HEAVEN TO ME HAHAHA COZ GOT A LOT OF THINGS THAT YOU NEED FOR BAKING!!
And we planned to make the whole cake as if it is bought from normal bread/cake shop COZ WE EVEN BOUGHT THE BOX HAHAHA
Then we carried so many things, head to cwp for waffle + icecream at Gelare
After that we proceed to Sunplaza to meet awyongyt and off we go to Celes's place!

Reached, rest for a while, then started to decorate the corkboard! Had pictures printed and pinned on the board with our messages! :)

Around 9 plus, went for dinner at ssc. Cj and I went there too late, ended up I had my dinner at the foodcourt and thought that it will be cheaper compared to the restaurants, BUT NO.
A plate of pineapple rice + mussells + veg + fish is freaking 8 bucks plus wth *heartache*
Jie bought vegetarian maggie mee too
Then went down to Giant for milk, butter, etc etc

Went back, were watching television, ended up having supper (the veg. maggie mee with mushrooms, eggs and veg)
Hahaha yep and we watched RM, American Model and etc midnight shows while drinking white wine hahaaaha oh man this is life.

Showered, and I think i slept around 4 or 4+? Hahaha oh and we four (Celes, cj, awyong and I) shared one room hahaha ps maximise the space of the room

Saturday 5th Oct
The baking day is here!
Woke for breakfast/lunch cooked by popo, slack a while in the room and started to bake around 1+/2?
Yep yep at first we four are all shou mang jiao luan coz don't know what to do and not prepared yet
But slowly got the hang of it....
Mixing the dry and wet ingredients, making the cream cheese....it took us around 3-4 hours to complete?
Ya the box that we brought right,
we wrote "HAPPY 21ST,
                WITH LOVE, (insert 4 of our twitter names),
                #food #foodporn #yummy #yishun(street no.), #(block no.), #(unit no) #fatdieus #confirmyummy"                ....and the list continues hahaha something likka insta format?? COOL RIGHT

And we're so satisfied about our cakes because it turned out so pretty~

This is our end product after Ade Jie sang her bday song and cut the cake, 

PRETTY RIGHT! Like you mo you yang compared to the red velvet cake outside :P

Nevermind if it's not as tasty as those outside coz we bake it ourselves and this shows that we have the heart HAHAHA

Besides this cake that we made, Ade jie also brought a lot of stuffs to 833 (coz she didn't know that we are planning to bake a cake for her and she at first only planning to buy a fruit tart from Fruit Paradise)

Yep yep, so we ended up with:

1) 9 inch red velvet cake

2) sushi platter

3) salmon

4) Salad

5) Fruit tart (quite big also)

HAHAHA not to worry, I think all the food are CLEARED except our handmade cake HAHA maybe because too big opps

Sunday 6th Oct
Too tired coz I played badminton with celes and leon at 833 and also whole day bake and whatnot,
Sat after everyone has left I was totally BAM onto the bed.....until dad comes and wake me up to go home
hehe and yep, reached home, changed ang washed face then BAM again on my bed...
Too long never play badminton, whole body aching especially my bum HAHAHA old already~

Woke up around 11plus? Because of intrudersss zzz hahaha but when I wake up fully I had salad made by my mum which filled me from 2 to 7plus until my dad "delievered" dinner back home hahaha shunbian ma~
Yep yep the salad is very yummy and very crunchy because there's chips, nuts, chix, prune, apple, lettuce, cheese, celery, sunflower seeds and + the sauce (which my mum only realised that she used the wrong fruit juice when she's back home LOL i think supposedly should be orange juice but she bought wrongly she bought carrot juice)

Yep as you can see, this box of salad can tahan for 5 hours POWER HOR. 

Extra chips, nuts and sunflower seeds for me because I can LOLOL

Dinner dad dabao home hehehe

Sunday night spent on watching Johnny English Reborns and dad was so tired and he fell asleep within 10 mins HAHAHA

Oh dad also bought the liushabao/ cheese + berry bread from Khatib :))

Anticipating what's gonna happen tomorrow coz ART's gonna have a feast tomorrow..

Still deciding whether should I go swimming tmr ugh

Okay that's all for the day :)